I had this revolutionary moment the other day. I was standing in just my short shorts and a sports bra looking in the mirror. Normally I would've flinched and not liked what I saw, but this time it was different. Even with a super red face in the middle of my hotel gym, surrounded by people who ran a lot faster than me and were able to lift more, I didn't think further about it. I went into the gym with a goal of running 30 minutes on the treadmill even though I despise them. And I did it. So that was enough for me. In that moment, I felt like I was enough.
Within the same week, I found myself on the beach in Monte Carlo as well. I was looking around and all I saw was model-like girls, who could've stepped straight off of the Victoria's Secret runway and onto this beach. The guys were the same. Super handsome all around. And then I looked down at my own body. A little bit too much jiggle on my thigs. Stretch marks. Pale as snow. I don't have legs for days. Mine would be described more as "legs for minutes." But then I took another look around. Nobody seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves. And there I was, sitting with my sister, eating the best two scoops of raspberry gelato and I didn't mind looking more or less like a fried lobster in a bikini (I go red easily). In that moment, I felt like I was enough.
I sat in the hotel lobby by myself, and I saw this guy I'd seen earlier that same day at the pool. I was fully dressed and I liked my outfit. I thought to myself that maybe he would like me now that he can't see how bad I look in a bikini. But then I realised that if he doesn't want me in a bikini, then he sure doesn't deserve me when my outfit is on point. No way. I am perfect as I am and no one is going to change that. For the first time in a very long time, I don't feel like I need to change into someone else. Someone better. I KNOW that I am enough just as I am.
So if you're in the age of 12-16 and you're reading this, just know that it gets better. You're currently in the hardest years of your life. You're discovering who you are and what you're supposed to be. That's hard. You're also dealing with school and everything changing around you. Friends that possibly doesn't act like friends anymore. And you're expected to just smile your way through it. That's even harder and I applaud you for doing it. You're stronger than you realise. I know this because I see my own little sister go through this stage of life as well and I'm in awe. She's awesome and SO ARE YOU. You are awesome because you're you. And guess what? You are enough just as you are, and one day you'll realise it too.
Lovelovelove,
Sarah
